women want a man who can be a man

I’m so upset that I thought I’d write this article that I’ve put off for a long time.

I’m upset because the tripe and garbage out there about what women “really want” is hurting men and hurting all of us.

So let’s set the record straight. I’ll do it by talking about Ross.

I was helping Ross (a composite student — I paraphrase here for brevity and use composites for convenience) find a girlfriend.

“Ross, are you still using porn?”

Ross said no, he had stopped. “I stopped and found things already started getting better.”

girl in bed

Men like Ross find that when they stop using porn and they stop porn fantasy, they begin looking at women differently. And the women look at them differently.

Women stop and check Ross out. “I had a woman yell ‘you’re hot’ from her car last night, it was cool!” And Ross told me about a waitress recently who “kept touching my shoulder and chatting me up when she didn’t need to. She was really attractive and I knew she wanted me to ask her out.”

Ross discovered the value of discontinuing porn and fantasy. Women are becoming more attracted to him. But now, he needs to undo a lot of what society has conditioned Ross to believe about women.

“What do you mean, Matt?” he asked me when I told him this.

So I thought I’d explain it here.

Let’s start out with the big myth…that  

You have to have money, a good job and good prospects to attract women

I told Ross, this is the worst myth of all.

Women love a guy with money. Of course, why wouldn’t they?

A doctor recently wrote in to me and said, he and his successful friends find women are attracted to them because they have money.

“I tell them that I’m a writer now, Matt,” he said. “That way I can tell if they like me, or are after me because I have money.”

Women can be super attracted to you if you have no money and no prospects. I told this to Ross and I proved it to him.

pretty oriental girl

What attracts women is a man who shows confidence. That’s the start and the end of it. Confidence attracts women. And you don’t need money to have confidence.

In fact, if you have money, you may be more confident because you have it. And women will find you more attractive because you are confident. 

But you can become just as confident even if you are poor and have no job. Guys get women all the time even when they have bad financial prospects, because they are confident guys.

And another myth is that

Women want men who are sensitive, caring, nice…

The attributes that women want in a husband and father include being kind to children, being a good provider, being faithful.

But the attributes that are most attractive to women are masculine, alpha male attributes.

They’re different.

In fact the attributes women say they want in a man are totally different from the attributes women actually want.

You can tell because women fall over themselves for the confident asshole, and leave the nice guy wondering what happened.

This is precisely why they say

Girls like bad boys

And it’s great girls, wonderful girls that are stunningly attractive, horny and faithful…they like “bad boys” too. They can’t help it. 

Because it’s not the bad they’re attracted to. It’s the confidence they’re attracted to. The man who doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks, who is just himself and looks women in the eye, lets them no what he wants and doesn’t care what they think.

That’s the man the women want.

girl in bed blonde

I told Ross some shortcuts I’ve discovered to being and acting confident without being an asshole. To other men and some women, these behaviors may make Ross seem uncaring, or insensitive. Maybe not nice.

But so what. Before I describe these shortcuts, let me go into the third horrible myth that

Men want sex more than women do, and sex is a way to reward men

Women love, love love sex. And maybe they enjoy it more than men do. They are capable of many orgasms and have more nerve connections for pleasure than men do in their genitals.

The difference with women is that the price of casual sex was much higher for women and biologically women are more wrapped up in the higher biological cost of sex. 

But nowadays, biology is meaningless due to birth control. Social conditioning and biology still impose this massive double standard on men.

But men don’t need to believe in this myth any longer. They can free themselves from it. And they can give women what the women really want.

A woman wants a man to act like a man, a man to overwhelm her with his masculinity and sweep her off her feet.

A man to give her the fucking she craves.

Most of my work is to help someone like Ross find a fantastic girlfriend rather than a chain of one night stands.

But knowing that women want and enjoy sex just as much as men do, and that men don’t need to buy women off in order for the woman to have sex, is very liberating for Ross and probably for all men once they understand this.

It is a key that unlocks the door to a stunning new lifestyle — even if you are “one woman” kind of man.

beautiful woman 

So anyway, Ross put my instructions into practice.

Note that Ross wasn’t actually more confident because of what I told him to do. But he was able to act more confident.

Women get wet and respond sexually to a man who acts confident…they can’t tell the difference between a man who is actually confident and one who acts confident

It’s a good thing too.

Of course, once Ross scores a few times, he’ll end up becoming more confident. And that will make it easier and easier.

If you want to become confident, you have to act confident. It’s that simple.

And it is working for Ross.

“They are all over me now,” Ross is reporting. “I already had a girl ask me out, and I have dates with two other hot girls that I met. One of them was on the street and we got into a conversation.”

Ross says that because of what I taught him, he has

Radar that picks up hot women without effort just by acting confident

 This radar gets hidden when men get too involved in:

1. Porn

2. Too much masturbation

3. Believing the tripe that is published and printed and put out about what women really want. This tripe is there because it is written by women and not by men who are willing to tell the truth.

man kissing woman

Not one man in 100 or 1000 even knows the truth about how to really attract women. The men who are “natural” at it know. And there are the PUAs, but they have their own problems.

Many pick up artists are terribly insecure and need to constantly pick up women in order to make themselves feel better about who they are.

The PUAs and the naturals can’t tell you what it really takes to appear confident and be the man that the women want. They are either oblivious to the truth, or they are acting out of their own insecurities.

No wonder I am angry. You can now understand why.

Nobody is telling men the truth!

You can be 100 pounds overweight and be massively attractive to women.

You can be poor as a churchmouse and get laid all you want.

What a woman wants is:

1. A man who will sweep her off her feet, and

2. Who acts confident in himself.

If you are looking for a great girlfriend you have to meet women first. With the right information rather than all the misinformation and lies, Ross has almost instantly displayed the confidence that overnight changes how women see him. And women are all over him without his having to “do” anything.

I’m doing a webinar on this method and I want to invite you. But before I do, I’m asking you to write one question you want answered. You can describe your situation and that would be helpful but be sure to ask a question.

I’ll take those questions into account and invite you to the webinar.

warmly

matt cook signature white background 

 

P.S. Remember, leave a question. Describe your story or situation if you want, that’s always helpful. I will use what you post and it’s public so use a nickname if you want to remain anonymous. And I’ll invite you to the webinar. Thanks!

 

 

About the Author

Matt Cook

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JackM

Hi Matt

I’m currently attracted to a girl i live with but she does not feel the same about me even though she is single. How can i convince her to go on a date with me? By the way my friends tell me that i’ve been told that i have been trying too hard… 🙁

Many thanks for your help!

Recardo53

Matt in ur T-Lift Off u mention that we can:
I can paint iodine onto ur body. 20 drops of iodine mixed with grape seed oil or coconut oil. Paint it on ur scrotum, perineum & testicles. Some ppl have an allergic reaction. Try small amount first. Apply it every other night. The iodine crosses over into the prostate & testicles.
What exactly is the purpose of this?

Also u mentioned something in ur material about being able to possible increase ur testicles back to their original size or maybe even larger. I’m on AndorGel 1.62% now for about 18 months. My testicles have shrink and have gotten very small. I have been changing my diet and adding in some of the Suppliments u mention in T-Lift Off and have been reducing the amount of AndorGel from 3 pumps per day down to 1 pump per day since I’ve been in your program. I realize I have yo wein myself off this drug gradually. I would love to regain the size of my testicles to where they were before they shrunk from taking the AndorGel. I would appreciate ur help on this matter.

Recardo53

Jason

Thanks for the great content Matt.

I was wondering how much does body language come into attraction? Or is it mostly behavioral?

Thank you sir.

Rex beaver

Can you please touch on how to be confident to express your attraction to a woman in a social situation without being “creepy”. I am tired on hiding, Matt

Ed

Dear Matt,

I have conveyed to your staff that you did not post the links to each of 2 of your webinars that I signed up for this week and last week. Will you do that for the forthcoming webinar, which I’d like to see and hear like many others of your followers?
At any rate the key question is how does one get a mentality of “as if” when it comes to acting like the confidential man women want. Is having a playful demeanor (women AND men) an important part of this process?

    Matt Cook

    Thanks Ed! The links were posted and emails sent. We’ll get you access right away. Thanks

    warmly

    –Matt

Shelly Mcada

Birth control and low social standards does not automatically make the thong move aside. Yes we love it like you..but it must be realized that the sweet spot is tied to love and commitment. Sure we have our moments when you need a drink and you don’t care what it is. Too much of this empties a girl, like porn.

john marzulli

Where can I find married women or single women who want to make love with a married. Man.

Shelly Mcada

Talk about the tripe. Is your site purely focused on helping men have sex or relationships? A woman may fuck with a broke confident man and be crazy about it all. BUT, she wont be there long because is marrying the nice working guy who is real.

    Matt Cook

    What good is sex without a relationship? I’m focused on sex and relationships both.

    warmly

    –Matt

      Shelly Mcada

      Matt, just in my opinion..confident guy may be a scorchin’ beast that makes her scream. When back on her feet,finding the guy has no job and/or no money, the ‘confidence’ he displays is irrelevant because women want to be valued. Don’t expect her
      heart if you cant take care of her. Thank you Matt

Mighty Oak

I met a younger woman about 10 years ago who is intelligent, talented, and did I forget to mention very pretty (although I hate to use the word because it seems one dimensional). I made several awkward attempts to establish a relationship, but she referred to me on her blog as a “creepy old man” due to a 20 year difference in our ages (she is now 41). She also has some unknown baggage from her first marriage and has declared herself a “confirmed bachelorette.” As part of an agreement with her several brokered by mutual friends, I promised not to contact her, but I know she is the woman I want to be with forever. She also moved out of town 6 years ago. How can I re-establish contact without breaking my promise? She is worth it. My attitude doesn’t exude confidence, I know.

Jon

I am 44 and currently involved with a 50 year-old woman who is going through a divorce. We see each other approximately once per week and I would like to make it more serious, but she is hesitant and keeps hanging the “friends” tag on our relationship. I know that part of my problem is my own limiting beliefs similar to the myths you listed above. She is a small business owner and makes approximately 3x my current salary and I think it bothers me more than her and if affecting my overall confidence level in the relationship. I would be interested in seeing your seminar to see what you suggest.

justsayin51

I divorced a year ago at age 50 and started pursuing women via a couple of dating sites. I have been experiencing E D for years and have had to work hard to get a erection with limited success. I can easily get it up when masturbating but not when with the real thing (:.I started masturbating frequently when a teenager and then when finally when I started having sex at age 19 was able to get it up multiple times usually but not always. I still however leaned heavily on masterbating between women and even when with occasionally to get my sex cravings satisfied. So lately since divorcing I have had a couple of ED failures and even got tested for testosterone hoping that it was low and I just needed low T medication. But my testerone levels are very healthy so I have to either try a viagra or stop the masterbation all together and find a way to gain confidence….Very frustrating to say the least as I have plenty of good prospects to get with right now but am holding back because my fear of failure. So what do you think is m best course of action.

    Matt Cook

    Great question.

    The key is to activate those programs that are already built in for attracting women and keeping relationships healthy and alive. The programs that are running now are the desensitization kind, and once that gets fixed, since you got the underlying cause, everything else comes out good and resolves without any additional effort. That’s what really works rather than a band-aid like Viagra.

    warmly

    –Matt

Mark

My gf is unhappily married she loves me but is afraid to “hurt” her husband and adult children with a divorce. There are financial issues also. It seems the moe I show my love the less she shows hers if I am more independent aloof and not hallways expressing my liove for her she is much more affectionate in words and actions.As most women do I feel I’m being tested by her wether I’m there for her in the ling run.

Mike

I guess I was raised to be very old-fashioned. I’m 72 now, and in excellent health. Everything works (subject to “The Wisdom of the Penis”, as you put it). But I have successfully done the horizontal with only two women, both of whom I married (in series, not in parallel!). I divorced the first one; the second, who was my soul-mate, died recently. In between the two, there were a few failures. Now, my second wife was 45 when we got married, and I was her first husband. It’s fair to say that she was as liberated as I was repressed. She said I was the best she’d ever had. That gives me plenty of confidence; in fact, I’d say I’m more confident than ever that I can satisfy a woman. And women are noticing that. But I’m never going to be a hit-and-run guy. I prefer keeping things going for hours on end. A woman who just wants to be fucked and be done with it is probably not my kind of woman. On the other hand, I probably don’t want to start another lifetime relationship with the next woman I make love to. Any suggestions on liberating myself?

Roderick McVeety

How do I deal with prik teasing? She gives me the come on then turns away or won’t deep kiss to get to the next level grabbing my hands and pushing me away. Then she tells me later that I am dragging my feet and she wants me to be in charge, then says she doesn’t want anybody experimenting on her. W T F?

Edward Lucas (nknm Luke)

I am 65 and married; but my wife’s medical condition ended our sex life fifteen years ago. Her medical issues are improving; but she has let herself go for so long she is incapable. I have had ED for years! I started doing what you said before I even heard you say it. Things were coming nicely; but, I had a relapse! How long do you think it will take me to recover?

    Matt Cook

    relapses are natural and part of the recovery process. The men who ultimately recover do so when they get back on the horse that’s thrown them and don’t get all down on themselves or say “oh well, fuck it, I’ve relapsed once, might as well do it again before I quit for real.”

    Guilt and shame over relapse actually makes it MORE likely you’ll relapse again. Counter-intuitive but proven over and over again not just with guys here in the Brotherhood but many psychology studies.

    You’re doing great to have given it up for this long, now it’s time to say to yourself, hey you’re human, and back to the program!

    warmly

    –Matt

Lucky

I’ve never got attention the way I have, since I
started your program! Thank you!

I am just concerned now that I won’t meet my
date’s expectations. Do you have any program that provides
quick results for PE. From what, you said, this problem (P.E.),
may take months to cure for some.

I just don’t want to lose the momentum, I’ve built up with the numbers I recently
got. Thanks for your support! You’re amazing Matt!

Bruce

I just can’t seem to shake that good guy persona and learn not to give a f@#k.

cj

Does it make sense to ask a woman about her attraction than get it from a man?

    Matt Cook

    Women are especially bad at telling you about women’s attraction. Unless you do the exact opposite of what they say!

    warmly

    –Matt

      Shelly Mcada

      I am a woman..I would like to comment if I may. Attractive is you knowing something good about yourself. Whatever it is, allow yourself the pleasure of its truth. This is your essence. Be present, not with constant worry running thru your mind. Listen. If she’s bad to you, go.

        Philo Beddoe

        Hi Matt! I’d like to add something on the subject of ‘bad boys vs. nice guys,’ if I may. I think Shelly is dead on when she says , “if she’s bad to you, leave.” It seems abrupt but it’s really quite poignant. In fact, I want everyone reading this to take a minute and really think about that phrase. Really think about how those words apply to you and your life, right now. How about the past ones? Have you ever paid attention to your relationship disagreement resolution habits? I mean, how you end arguments. Have you noticed the pattern you’ve developed, in them? I believe that a woman’s ‘BB or NG’ opinion of you is formed at the moment that she witnesses your responses to her and to life in general, when you are unfortunately, and undeniably confronted (and I truly hope you aren’t) with words or deeds from your partner that are so negative and hurtful to you that you are forced to seriously consider issuing an ultimatum to your lover that something MUST change ASAP, or else! Perhaps you felt backed into a corner and made the decision to end the relationship. Been there, done that. It sucks. Terribly!

        My point in saying all of that is; if your responses to intense or high stress situations — especially emotionally stressful situations because women are not designed to handle emotional stress very well — either they make you a confidant ‘bad boy’ if you don’t take bullshit from people or let them walk all over you (that includes BS from her, too) or you’re a really ‘nice guy’ because she sees you getting jerked around (maybe she does it to you, too) and walked on but she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings so it becomes a ‘nice’ thing that you did instead of calling it (and you) a failure or the equivalent. It preserves the relationship, just like Matt says, women are still wired for preservation of the family unit. They will resort to practically any and all means necessary to preserve it, too. Lying, cheating, stealing. You do. Don’t deny it. lol! Anyway, get the picture? Women’s lives are all about sacrificing of themselves for the good of the family. If you are flexible enough to make some sacrifices, yourself, and take some of that load off of your woman, it definitely pays off in the bedroom, later!

        Women don’t want a man that they can just run over. I suppose some do but you r eally deserve better treatment than that. Being a bad boy doesn’t mean running over your woman, either. There’s a balance that need to be struck in order for all things to work themselves out and for everything to run in harmony. Yes, it’s another metaphor for your sex life with your partner. I hope that helps someone have a better love life and a better regular life, too 🙂

        Right turn, Clyde!

KORI

what do you exactly mean by “women need a man who will sweep her of her feet”? Could you show me an example? Thank you Mark

Sachin

Actually I am fat working as a web developer And I like one girls but she doesn’t she much more as afreinds , I don’t know what to do , She gives more reponse to others guys then me , and its kills me

Larry Bryant

Hi Matt:
I am an older man (62) who has been without a partner for too many years to count. I have ED and suffer from premature ejaculation along with prolonged use of porn. Consequently, I have low self esteem and lack confidence/give-up trying to approach women.
I have completely eliminate porn and stopped masturbating (at least trying) about 2 weeks ago. I am implementing changes outlined in T-Rewind. When things start to turn around, I would like to get back in the game.
How do I get back in the game?

Richard A Markham

How do you know when a woman wants you to take her?

    M J Anderson

    She touches you…when time to say “Goodnight” she looks you in the eye & is close to your face….rather than the “kiss on the cheek” give her the REAL KISS on her lips……I did NOT respond properly & LOST a REAL BABE (believe me!!)

Rick

No truer words have ever been spoken…

Shu Brooklyn

There’s a girl I like (I guess why we are all here!) If you met me you would describe me as your average nice guy douchebag. How do I get over attempting to not offend whilst trying to be more sexual with her?

Rick

I lived with a actress and model. She died suddenly. What is the best way to move on and over come that betrayal feeling?

David Sherwood

Thanks Matt. Very interesting and useful.

LeRoy Jackson

I had cancer real bad and the chemo damaged my body. I was using porn but stopped. Married a very long time and very happy with my wife.She is the perfect woman.Due to the damage from the chemo,we have not had sex for a long time but have been starting recently. My problem is that I would like her to initiate sex instead of me. I have always had to initiate. What does it take to get her to initiate.

    Matt Cook

    thanks LeRoy. What was the damage from chemo?

    Apparently a lot of guys share this “why can’t she initiate sometimes” problem.

    warmly

    –Matt

Malarki5

I have followed the abstinence rule as best I can….in the last 3 months I have masturbated just 3 times, I avoid viewing porn (although such images appear in my newsfeed on Facebook). I have experienced morning wood 3 times since abstaining.

Will this increase?

Also my penis is still fairly soft….will it ever regain its hardness?

John

What lights up a woman, and gets her begging you to make love ? I can pump and ride for over 40 minutes most times, it’s not like it’s over before it starts. Lots of foreplay, massaging her, caressing her.

bonbon1969

So i give up looking at porn, even though i dont masturbate to it, then stop masturbating in general, at 62, how soon might I start feeling it working again? Been divorced as year, inactive with women for about three years, hence the divorce, and haven’t dated, too broke, just making ends meet. Do you think your webinar can get me back in the game?

bdie

I have been burned bad by my x and now don’t trust any women with a fear of failure always in the back of my mind

Jamie

Okay dude I’ve BOUGHT books and courses of they helped a lot BUT most info provided only worked in specific locations like umm let’s see like cities where opportunity knock at at steady pace to apply what’s learned and an endless supply of women. as for the small town scene 15000 or less its a totally different ball game especially in Texas what’s different about your services

ndnchief

I need help in reading women’s signs that they are interested in me and how to escalate. Also, how to not get stuck in the “friend” zone. Thanks.

    M J Anderson

    I learned the hard way….You need to touch her..My problem was I was a friend of a very beautiful married lady (we met 10,000 miles away from home).
    …We learned we live just 5-6 miles away in USA…..and because she was married I decided to NOT touch her except the kiss on the cheek…..YOU MUST BE ABLE TO TOUCH THESE BABES -OR- YOU BECOME LOCKED IN THE “FRIEND ZONE”……She told me her marriage no sex..separate bedrooms, etc…

    Sorry but I don’t “do” married ladies…..THAT was my mistake…( I was STUPID for this as we were *VERY* good friends & could have been “friends with benefits)….YOU NEED TO TOUCH HER or else you get stuck in friends zone……Hope this helps…..(my religion really fucked me up on this one!!)

Blake

How to overcome age.
When dealing with women at a distance (email or telephone)

Tony

Excellent article Matt. Yes there is so much “bullshit” out there when it comes to attracting women, so much so that it becomes confusing and only lines the pockets of those who send out the wrong information. I don’t have the problem of attracting women but do have the problem of reading the signs and getting to the next step. I have had plenty of good, hot and passionate sex from the not so good looking women simply because they felt that no guy wants them so when they get the chance to make out, they give it all where as the beautiful looking tend to be ” up themselves ” because they tend to be hit on by many guys and therefore can shop around.

Javier

What’s the quickest way out of the friend zone ?

Martin

Hi Matt,

My second wife is a little younger than I am, by 14 years actually. I am 57 and somewhat healthy and active, people normally pick me as being 5 to 10 years younger. Daily sex with multiple orgasms, for a month is a dream I have. After my first wife and before I meet my second there was this “other” lady. On a few occasions we did have the multi sessions on consecutive days. Thus my dream. Now with my second wife, at best when the stars, planets and tides are aligned, we get to 3 times a week. For now I will take that. Now my problem. After we have both climaxed my wife always wants to roll over and go to sleep. I need some pointers on how to “extend the moment to the second climax.” Secondly, I am the one initiating each time so your article about getting women to want you attracted my attention. How do I get my wife to initiate more frequently?

Martin

Rocky Schexneider

I am 66 years old and I do have the bad boy persona and can still get woman to be attracted to me but I have a problem keeping an erection. I can get semi hard but it deflate when I start to enter, or if I do get it in I lose it. I have found that it is just as enjoyable to pleasure them in other ways and they respond in kind, but would love to complete intercourse in the usual fashion. I am a little reluctant to go through with a pursuit and have turned to using porn since it’s doesn’t require any expectations. I am willing to try your suggestions and am reading your articles. I have also tried testosterone supplement without success.

Tom

You are spot on, thank you for the insight. Tom

Kurt

Hey Matt, I’m 69 and take Vicodin for arthritis pain. How much does that impact being able to keep an erection? I’ve been with my woman for over 15 years and love her deeply. We still manage to have some sort of sex but no intercourse for about 3 years. I quite fit, a bit overweight but managed to hike about 500 miles last summer. I just can’t get very hard anymore. I think it’s beginning to affect my confidence. Thoughts?

j

This idea is becoming a lot main stream, about time. The situation I have is a woman i dated and become very close to that when we broke up she dated got pregnant and married another man. I knew it wouldn’t last with this guy when she met him and we remained “best friends” and tried as she might it didn’t last with the jerk she married. She came back to me and as we were so close as friends it didn’t take long to become physical again. Then she started going out with a female friend of hers that was in the same boat, but this chick dealt with it in a slutty way and validated herself by guys wanting to sleep with her. So it seemed to rub off on my girl and she lead kinda of a double life and sowing wild oats. Now she is acting like her old self and hardly goes out anymore and again she is supper close to me, but now that she seems ready to be a relationship girl i cant seem to flip the switch with her now and get her to look at me other than in a friend way. How can i get out of the friend zone with her and still be close to her.

Rajah

What are the short-cuts to being confident without being an asshole? I seem to swing from one extreme to the other.

gabriel

I have no problem talking to women I know in social group settings. Very confident. But my confidence wanes when I meet a woman I know nothing about. I feel like I don’t have any idea what to say to her. Can you help with this in this venue?

Jeff E

How much is too much masterbation?

Bonerack

Matt:

I am an 89 year-old married man (to my second wife, after my first wife of sixty years died). This wife (age 86) has been married twice before, and divorced twice, from a college English Professor and from an M.D. (Psychiatrist). Both former husbands had problems,–the Professor was immature. and the M.D., a Jekyll and Hyde type who threatened to commit suicide if she walked out on him.
She was, and is, physically attractive, but is not mentally developed to the extent she should be at this stage of her life. Of course, I am not perfect, either. The result is that we have not had sex in two or three years. I even wonder if I could perform should we attempt sex again. I suspect I have become desensitized. My question: At my age, can I become re-sensitized? If so, how?

Bonerack.

    Art

    I have a very attractive 68 year old lady friend who I have been dating seven months…I am 75, and in very good shape from working out in the gym. We hug and lightly kiss, but no heavy make out sessions.She has been alone for over 12 years, and I think that she has some fears about herself when it comes to sex. She sees me as a great friend, but I can only wait so long without escalating our relationship, but I don’t know how to do this without ruining what I have now.

      Ed

      Art,
      From what you’ve described your lady friend’s second marriage to her Jekyl and Hyde psychiatrist husband was abusive and contributed to her fears esp regarding deeper friendship, including sex. Let her know you would be fearful too if you had been married to a person like husband #2, but you’re not him! Over a glass of wine or coffee ask her what else stands in the way of getting close to you (=code word for “intimate”). Your empathy may get her to “spell” out her fears in a way that will “dispel” them!

Reggie

very helpful, thank you Matt. My question is, why do women always seem to want to play hard to get?

Allen Wegstetter

This is one of your best article Matt my question is how to get this girl i work with to see me as more than a friend

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