Quick Shortcut: Here’s what works to fix desensitization

56 comments
February 15, 2014
getting your hormones in balance     great sex for life     Lasting Longer     recovering from erectile problems     Sexual Confidence     Staying Hard
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What worked for me was No porn and NO Masturbation for at least 3 months.

Then relaxing and staying focused on her, her eyes and her body language as well as openly discussing my issues.

She immediately knew me inside and after several dates my response was 1000% better to her and Mr Willie respond in kind. getting to know her and she me was the best …..

 

–Jon
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This is the constant and frequent experience for guys who have desensitization and who fix the problem.

NO porn.

NO fantasy.

NO masturbation.

And for many guys, going further and into NO orgasms (even with a partner) are super important even for a few months.

What troubles me is guys who say

“Hey, Matt, I cut back on porn and still having a problem.”

WTF? Cutting back? What about stopping completely? Obviously you aren’t convinced that porn is a real problem for you. Well it is!

What also troubles me is guys who say, “Hey sure I rub one out. But I’m still desensitized, help!”

If you masturbate in the SAME WAY AS BEFORE, you will continue the same habits of fantasy and masturbation that have led you to this place of desensitization.

You have to make a change in your life, to see a change in your sensitivity and performance.

But what about the guy who isn’t a porn user, and still suffers desensitization?

Lots of guys are suffering and can’t perform and it’s because of desensitization.

Sometimes this is due to health reasons.

sexy woman on chair small

Sometimes it’s due to how life affects us. Sex with the same woman can become dull unless you CHANGE how you have the sex. It can become so dull, and she can shut down on you, and then you end up having to jerk off and you become desensitized.

Or, you can simply go from woman to woman, and experience desensitization this way. Guys who date and have sex with various women can become desensitized this way as well. Women are used to watching porn stars have sex and they often use the “Battery Operated Boyfriend” and don’t feel nearly as much either.

It’s up to you to fix the cause of the problem. 

Remember, Nature doesn’t care. Nature just wants you to put your sperm in her. That’s why condoms work. Nature is easily fooled — you can spurt out your semen into a tiny plastic bag and Nature still thinks you’re impregnating a woman.

Nature doesn’t care if you have your sensitivity or not. Or if you perform or not.

Discover the hacks that make performance easy

We call them “hacks” because they are easy things that fool our brains into selecting a new built-in program different from the built-in program we’ve been running that has not been working for us.

two redheads

We run built in programs all the time. The one we run unconsciously is all about wanting more, and not getting it, and with this constant wanting and not getting, we become desensitized and

It takes “super stimulus” to get us off

Sex is SO important to us and to our brains that it is more profound a problem than heroin or alcohol or gambling. 

Our brains no longer respond to “ordinary” stuff and it takes a lot to get us off. Eventually nothing gets us off.

It isn’t our fault. It’s how we’re built and the fact that nobody ever told us this stuff.

Well now someone is telling us this stuff. I’ve spent thousands of hours figuring it out and helping guys with it. It’s time to take this seriously.

No porn.

No fantasy.

No masturbation.

Avoid partner orgasm even — this can be vital for guys.

And I have some other ideas too. Go through the webinar if you haven’t already. Do the activities. Work at this. It’s so totally worth it and it works.  

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I find your program works well, although I was skeptical at first.

Seemed like a lot of money.

But now feel it was money well spent.

Am enjoying the renewed sexual confidence.

Thank you.

–Steve W.
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So I have an idea here…tell me what you think of it

Since this all works so well, what do you think about a 10 day challenge? 10 days to leave it be. 10 days to avoid masturbation, porn, fantasy and orgasm. 10 days to enter “flatlining” and begin really recovering. I’m just throwing that out there — let me know what you think

warmly,

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Matt Cook

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jack

Anyone still active here? I’m interested in the project, but I’d like to hear what the results have been for different people?

Rick jourdan

Mart I seem to have desensitize issues but I don’t watch porn don’t master and no fantasy. But yet I’m stuck with this problem help me please I want to die

steven cage

Really don’t likewant to comment

brYan

I’ve not seen ‘about the author – matt cook’ previously in the months i’ve read your eml’s Matt.
Its a good précis for the road back to physical freedom.
I don’t need proof for I’m not skeptical about recovery.
I don’t need anything other than maintaining a 90 mph drive to recovery.
I lived in stage 8 for a long time then my confidence disintegrated and I turned to coke.
I’ve given up porn and masturbating & now occasionally get spontaneous wood (smaller than I used to have).
I believe the 7.5 will come back.
Lost in the forest, I saw no sun so had no direction. I didn’t have a clue which way to turn.
Your eml’s opened a door and it’s all I needed.
The image of two redheads are nice femmes. I like non-conservative femmes such as those.
And the single F. Fine images.
You believe in what you do – its obvious.
brYan
melbourne

    Matt Cook

    Thanks Bryan. Of course I do, but it’s not me. It’s the information I am fortunate to have stumbled on that is changing guys’ lives in the BIGGEST way possible. It’s a thrill.

    warmly

    –Matt

Pappie

I ordered the Webinar. Is there another product you are offering as well for an additional $98

BAD LUCK CHUCK

Poor ol chuck got wore out mistreatin him in last 5years he hasn’t seen inside a pussy but has been wacked on so much that the poor dude looks like a banananna he got bent backwards in the heet of good jerk-offs in past now in morning I wake with one large banana PISS HARD ON after finally bendin far enough over forward ta piss without pissin all over toilet fuckin CHUCK runs an hides no matter what I can’t seem ta get the son of a bitch ta come out an play but sometimes I wake in middle of NITE he’s up so I take hold an wack like hell I no it will b only 30 seconds till lift off but at point of no return I enjoy cumin so much I fer gets ta hold on an have ta clean mess off me an bed,shit I can’t seem ta go any longer than 2weeks without forcein ol chuck up an make him blow all over. Guess that’s from at age 7 my first bang was when I was in bathtubean let water run on chuck an played back strockin it an when chuck got sick I damn near drowned from the great feelin I experienced an rest of story is ol chucks abuse an now non performance oh shit what ta do I throwed way all fuckin material even videos but mind wanders Bradley an thoughts kick in IMA in bad shape huh what ta do

Saad

I had been to your last webinar and liked it . I will like to fix my performance . I believe because of my pre-mature ejaculation , i lost confidence . I used to be an excellent lover with girls during college days. but when married with the traditional way , I got this problem of coming fast and loose interst .

I need to get help to stay longer and harder downthere .

Regards.
Saad

Uyi

63yers old debetics having weak erection. Tried Calis.

justin g.

matt i have a question?you’re telling me if someone doesn’t masturbate,watch porn or orgasm for just 10 days you will go back to normal.i’m now 59 and never had a problem w/ this until the last 15 years.i’ve always masturbated but didn’t watch porn until maybe 10 years ago steadily.

i’ve done everything else you mentioned,taking cold showers,not taking hot baths which i was taking several times a week,taking iodine and putting some on my testicles and dick.i’ve seen my balls get tighter and i’ve been catching more morning wood,almost but not every morning,and going to the gym and working out more,are they’re any other vitamins i can take.i’ve tried almost everything-thanks!

justin g.

Grayson J

I have been a porn user for many years so this program was definitely not easy for me to start. I now believe porn and masturbation are the reason I have been so desensitized, though. Didn’t know it until I took a break. The difference is unreal.

ky

totally agree, tho did fall back into orgasming and masturbation, back into the rehab for real this time, only 4 times orgasm and 2 times masturbation, so i have a chance to recover

Norman

I think your program is great. I started with Big Bang, then Raging Confidence and Factor X. I have stayed away from M and P for over 3 months and Mr Willie is at attention most mornings. Some times for quite a while. You are providing a great service. Thanks again.

More recently, I have been taking Chinese herbal supplements (from Vicare International) to help strengthen kidney and heart function. Taking these pills seem to help with Mr Willie also.

Also I saw this today on MSN.com. “Foods that Kill Your Sex Drive.”
http://healthyliving.msn.com/health-wellness/men/sex/foods-that-kill-your-sex-drive#1

    Matt Cook

    great to hear about your successes. Continue to stay the course — it pays off SO much.

    Glad to hear about the Chinese herbs.

    warmly

    –Matt

Michael

Hey Matt, thanks for your video. I have steadfastly avoided porn for many years now & mostly M as well. Having a committed relationship sure helps. However, at first a year ago, I had performance anxiety & couldn’t keep it up. It was frustrating. I was frank with her about it & she said not to worry. Now there is really no problem, especially because we are focused on loving each other fully, not just having sex together. It’s more relaxed. All I can say is that it makes a huge difference. Hope this helps.

    Matt Cook

    Michael, that is SO AWESOME to hear. I am so thrilled for you. Getting the “must perform” idea out of the way seems to have made your relationship really work. Congratulations for being open and having a wonderful girlfriend — that is a reflection on you as a human being and shows your depth and commitment.

    warmly

    –Matt

jon

Think of *orn and M as a drug, you are hooked ! The only way off is to stop and work through the pain. That includes eyeballing women, even a more difficult challenge as if you don’t, the fantasies will start. Force your self to look above the neck to the face and the eyes, watch how she looks at you but don t go below the neck. When you meet a woman look at her face study it especially her eyes they will tell you. You have a mind learn to control it and not it control you….Men have one brain we just play a stupid game thinking that willie has one also…grow up and get your lives in order….I am working on mine also

    Matt Cook

    Great insights, Jon. Force yourself to look into her eyes and stay present, what great advice. Thanks!

    warmly

    –Matt

Jay

Hi matt,

I started giving up porn, masturbation & fantasy for a month twice & relapsed twice. Now I’m trying to abstain again. Going back to working with the solo activities in Raging Sexual Confidence Course. Ten days is easy for me, its just going longer than a month that is difficult for me. Still, I really want to cure the desensitization once and for all. Any suggestion or response is appreciated.

-Jay

    Matt Cook

    it’s very difficult Jay. The suggestion I can make is to determine in advance when you masturbate or use porn, and decide (write it down) that you’ll do a different activity instead, and what that different activity is. Then when the time arrives when you are likely to relapse you do this replacement activity instead. It gets you out of that setting, for instance from out from the front of your computer to the coffee place, and then you don’t relapse.

    Try it and let us know

    warmly

    –Matt

the-horse

Thank you, Matt and Associates, for this information. Yes, I believe it is true. I am a student of History, and French. There has never been a society (not even French society, known for its sexual component) that had so much porn floating around every day, as in the US, currently. I believe this overabundance affects the minds of males in American society. All societies, in all time periods, have a sexual component. But never has it been like it is now in the US. So we American males are facing a new sociological and psychological phenomenon. I believe it has not been studied well, yet. My intuition tells me Matt Cook is right. There is a crisis, and it is connected to desensitization of the male mind. Keep up the good work, Matt.

    Matt Cook

    great point. It is SO highly sexualized out there. It is a new experiment that’s never been studied, as you say, and it’s never been discussed or debated. We’re just in the middle of it dealing with it, and further the media doesn’t even discuss it and it’s almost forbidden to bring up because if you do, you’re a lunatic or “sex negative.” Well, we here are proving that you can discuss it and that you can also overcome the problems that it brings on us.

    warmly

    –Matt

accountant

I’ll give it a try. I work a lot and am not home much. I had cancer very bad a few years back which affected willie, almost died,then bacterial meningitis about 1.5 yrs ago which again affected willie. My wife is the perfect wife in all ways and very understanding.We have been married 40 years.She also had cancer about 5 years before me and had all of her female organs removed. Had radiation. Now is very dry and very difficult to have sex. So I started masterbating at work a lot and now am very desensitized.Little feeling down there.I did watch porn for a few years but have stopped completely.I started androgel and now they gave me a shot a couple of weeks ago to get my t increased.After cancer and meningitis my t was 110.Now it is up to 350.I take many supplements.So I have little feeling down there.I will give this a try and stop masterbating for 10 days and see if it helps me.The cancer and meningitis caused me to get behind in my work but am trying to get caught up so I can be home with my sweetie.She has no idea that I masterbate and I feel very bad that I started.But I will try to stop.This won’t be easy but I am willing to give it a try.I do have morning wood once in awhile maybe due to the supplements.I think they help me but not with the desensitization.I am going through 2 of your courses (Raging Confidence and T Liftoff) and hope they will help me.Thank you Matt for all that you are doing here.Us guys out here appreciate it.I think your courses are worth it.

james simpson

Appreciate your e-mails and the program you are recommending. No one talks about the things that you are talking about. As for abstaining for ten days, great idea but I need about a week to prepare myself mentally. I will keep you informed on my progress. Thanks again.

Jim

    Matt Cook

    Thanks for the thoughts James!

    warmly

    –Matt

DABOSS

I’m 69, having ED problems for 5 yrs, tried Viag, couldn’t take the indigestion and it didn’t really work anyway. Women are all over me, but can’t get good firm hard-on. HELLLP!!

Mav

Ill try it and see what happens, my girl and i have split but we still talk all the time so lets see how this all goes.
Regards

Robert Hadley

Okay just checked my reply and I am still off course! Seeing a bit of denial here. I also have to behave with my girlfriend online as we get hot and bothered! Still a work in progress, but improving!

    Matt Cook

    it’s good to recognize that. We’re all only human, we can’t always be perfect. Relapsing is normal. But more importantly, you have to become intellectually convinced, utterly 100% convinced as to the right course. That is what I call your “higher self”. Then you can experience those thoughts that get you to relapse, or get too hot and bothered online, and you can often deal with them much more easily. If you aren’t convinced that you should deal with them that way, then you have a tough time resisting them.

    They do desensitize as you probably find out. But improvement is the key, so forgive yourself and keep on keeping on!

    warmly

    –Matt

Paul

It’s a good start! I believe that the info is valid, and notice that when I hold off
For a full week to 10 days, the first night with my girlfriend is incredible, usually
Resulting in orgasms/squirting for her and huge orgasm for me.
Recovery time is about 4 hours on average for me
BTW, I’m over 50 and so is she!! Thank you Matt!!!!
Paul

Hank McGill

Tuesday I will be 83 years old. I am also on a fixed income but I think you have everything under control.
Talk about no feeling about 15 or 20 years ago my doctor gave me a pump to make it work. well it did for a while but I think I over used it and got to where I was using the smalest rubber band to keep it up. I even tried pumping it harder and harder. When you slide that rubber band off you might as well hit it with a hammer, it really hurts but I was trying so hard to keep my wife happy but that is all over now for a long time. since then I have tried the porn watching and all but nothing works. For about 2 months I have tried your thing on my own but the damage may be just too much. My biggest problem is fanatsy it’s like when I quit smoking, it sure was hard, but ZI will keep trying.
Thanks for everything

Hank

Mike

I’m in! In fact, I’ll raise you 10 days. There’s nothing going on here anyway, so I don’t have much to lose. But with nothing going on, how will I know I’m getting re-sensitized?

    Matt Cook

    Mike, you’ll start feeling different. That’s the main way. You begin feeling differently and those feelings change, but they aren’t what you’ve been experiencing. It’s pretty obvious when you look for those feelings. I think I’ll write an article about it

    warmly

    –Matt

Robert Hadley

I have avoided a lot of visual porn movies and the more intense stories. I am recovering some sensitivity but it takes time. I have to keep my brain in check on the fantasy issue and that is rough so I expect several more months without great progress. I am alone and slowly getting over my wifes death, so I am not in a rush. However I do want to recover when I meet the woman I want to love. I am impressed with what I have read.

Jeffrey Keegan

Hi Matt, Thanks for all this work, it really works. I agree with your total avoidance of porn and masturbation. I had a good amount of success with the techniques in the Maveric man and last 30 or more.
There is a problem though. As time goes on, the old horn dog kicks in, along with busy schedules, you really need to get off, or at least knock one off. It is impossible to get through the day in NYC without seeing tight jeans, cleavage, suggestive pics, yes, even in your emails! The mind starts racing. Also the desire to test the equipment kicks in. It’s hard to control all the outside stimulation. Does it subside at some point? Old habits are hard to break.
On a separate topic, in the maveric man, I think oct. you mention a user who had great success with the breast kisses technique. His partner had amazing O’s from this. I didn’t see this in the material. I would like to try it. Could you direct me to where it is? I try to keep up with the daily’s, and monthly updates, but I do have to get some work done sometimes!
Thanks again for your help. Jeff

    Matt Cook

    Hi Jeffrey, yeah it subsides. Actually it gets easier and easier the longer you do it. You avoid fantasy and then it gets easier to continue avoiding fantasy. Definitely as long as you don’t give into the thoughts the brain generates, “a little bit won’t hurt” or “must test things to see how they’re working” or “I only want to look not masturbate to it” etc. The brain loves generating these thoughts and you just use your higher self to ignore them and you’re golden.

    We did that breast training a little while ago. It was fabulous and lots of guys had great results. I’ll see if I can locate it.

    warmly

    –Matt

Jon

I think the challenge is worth while as a starter. Women, although very sexual, can focus on what needs to be done and then when the time is right can become the partner we all want. Men need to do the same, stay focused on the day doing what needs to be done DO NOT LET P* or M* or fantasy interfere, when we are weak and allow just a hit of that in to the brain we can over load to quickly!! …. You don’t need to go far to find the answers just take a look the other things in your life and focus on school, work, career, and any other thing that is not a trigger for sexual stimulation. Change is hard work and takes a minimum of 6 weeks for us to actually engrain the change into our brains! Do it of your partner and yourself…you could call it a cleansing test……once you do that then start slowly as you were in Hi-school, scared, uncertain and allow that to change into a confident person, ask her to help ask her to just take you in and hold Mr willie in as long as you can, look at her as she looks at you…..

workouts12Rob

Matt:

Per your request for my opinion:

After reading about the required terms for rejuvenation, and some of the other suggested avenues to consider taking to restore natural ability, drive and successful relations, I believe they would work well for MOST men.

The artificial has taken over the natural in modern life and eliminating these diversions to return to what most of us are highly capable of in performance is quite likely directly related to the problematic conditions you describe.

Glad to hear you’re getting around the nation with your program.

Rob
New Orleans

dario Udovicic

Hi Matt I’ve been doing your programs for over three months,Iv’e talk to you too and you told me it will come naturally ,but I still have anxiety to have sex my heart is pumping hard .But when I’am alone and doing the exercises no problem with erections .My wife is no cuddly person but i get some time to lay on the couch together I know oxitosin is important.I’ve got 30 m or moore ,unl.her iner an.,reg.sex and test.rew. What do I do to have more confidence, do you have any other programs for confidence.Thank you hope to hear from you directly .

    Matt Cook

    Dario, thanks for your message. I remember our conversation and I also remember I think I gave you my private email address, please email me directly so I can help.

    But here I want to say a few things. One is that the anxiety itself is not a barrier. It is okay to feel anxiety, even a lot. It will subside over time, but it won’t interfere with performance necessarily. Even a guy who is nervous can have a decent erection and settle into things pretty well.

    But it is quite daunting. I recognize that. I’ve experienced it. I actually have plans for an entire course around this maybe next month.

    warmly

    –Matt

Donald

A 10 Day Challenge sounds exciting. It will help us learn what types of activities we should be engaging in and what types we should stay away from.

Have you thought of tying this in with one of your lower priced products… such as Big Bang?

Geoff

I always go more than 10 days, as I want to be rid of the problems of both masturbation (never been able to quit since age 11), and soft porn over the past 7 years, which I fell into despite having a contract with my mind to never access it online. One day that broke, and that was that. Two years ago it cost me my 44 year marriage. I do not want casual partners, just a new wife. I have been on medication for depression and anxiety for years. So have been soft a lot. Over the past few years I cannot maintain an erection at all. I have bought one of your courses, which I must pay more attention to.

Bryant Boston

Im willing to take the 10 day challenge. It’s that important!!

Ed

I don’t care about contests! I wouldn’t enter one anyway; but, I do appreciate all of the information you pass on. I thought I was doing well after a month – it was not good enough! I am now two weeks back in abstinence, (I won’t allow my mind to wander off into fantasy). Now I know it will be at least another eleven weeks, that doesn’t seem too long. Keep sending out the info Matt, we need all we can get!

Ernest

I suggest the everyone concerned about porn use watches the movie Don Jon. I saw it last night and it so coincides with what you’re saying Matt. Porn is an easy fix. A one way thing: addictive but not truly satisfying beacuse it leaves you wanting more. Real sex is about a connection with your partner. And when you realize that you can dump the porn without hesitation.

Stan

My problem is no really desensitization as such. I do et aroused and erect when another woman shows interest in me, even if I do not encourage her to flirt.

My problem is that for som eyears, my wife has lost interest in sex due to boredom and also (now) menopause. (She is 56, I am 3 years older). I have always had higher libido than her. But over the last 10-12 years, I feel the pressure of having to ALWAYS initiate sex by a long process of “sedcution”, and often getting DISINTEREST on her part. This has killed my desire for initiating sex with her. She has hormonal problems (low thyroid – hypothyroidism I think), quite aprt from perimenopause, which started some years back.
On the very rare cases when she does feel like sex, I do get aroused, but it is silent sex (no dirty talk). Sex is so rare, that I really resent her selfish, unrealistic attitude…”The same happens to other couples, I’m too tired, and need to sleep”.
After years of denial, she just started taking estrogen+ Progrestrone (I think) pills, because she could not tolerate the side-effects of menopause, but she still lacks energy and feels sleepy after 9:30 -10 PM.

I have bought good books written by endocrinologists and women-sexilogists, but she doe not read them.
I think they need a “desire pill” for women !

    Matt Cook

    I think this can be improved, or fixed, and can become completely new and different and carry you for the rest of your life. I’m so glad she is on a hormonal regimen that might help.

    You’re not the only one with the “desire pill” idea — but so far everyone seems to have struck out as far as pills are concerned.

    warmly

    –Matt

Allen Thomsen

Dammit I’m 80, widower and have more women than ever, older widows and divorcees are lonely and wanting sex. Now I have a bit of a problem with “Rock hard”, but taking a couple of things and have some Viagra that I haven’t needed to use yet, I am in really good health, considering everything.

So never, never give up.

Scott Goss

Trying all you said already being no porn no masturbation no fantasy so far so good.

    Matt Cook

    Great! Keep us posted Scott!

    warmly

    –Matt

JB

I never watched porn in my life and stop masturbating in the 30’s
I am now 62 so why do I have Ed?

    Ken

    Ahhhh, the psychological end of it. To the cleaners a few times. Get to the point where you don’t even want to look at them much less have a “relationship” with em. Confrontational therapy. Emotional release type stuff. But even so – Why bother with them right? Got to ask yourself some core questions. Might a well have one in your life, what else is there to do? You’ll get “functional” again. Matt’s got some good work here. Pay attention to the oxytocin connection. Good luck.

      Matt Cook

      Not sure I would agree it’s psychological. I think it is often physiological. The brain and body work in complex ways. Did you find therapy helpful, Ken?

      warmly

      –Matt

    Matt Cook

    Other reasons for ED. Health issues, medication, sexual triggers (not necessarily porn) are huge. Weight, blood pressure problems, do you have any of these, any health issues? What type of ED do you have, what problems do you experience?

    warmly

    –Matt

Jarrett

im up for it matt. want to get this thing fixed, great idea, im in. just say the word

Willie Willie

been trying this for awhile but can’t seem to string together more than a week. I guess I’m still not quite convinced. But I’m up for trying it. What is flatlining Matt?

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