Quick Shortcut: Here’s what works to fix desensitization

This is the constant and frequent experience for guys who have desensitization and who fix the problem.

NO porn.

NO fantasy.

NO masturbation.

And for many guys, going further and into NO orgasms (even with a partner) are super important even for a few months.

What troubles me is guys who say

“Hey, Matt, I cut back on porn and still having a problem.”

WTF? Cutting back? What about stopping completely? Obviously you aren’t convinced that porn is a real problem for you. Well it is!

What also troubles me is guys who say, “Hey sure I rub one out. But I’m still desensitized, help!”

If you masturbate in the SAME WAY AS BEFORE, you will continue the same habits of fantasy and masturbation that have led you to this place of desensitization.

You have to make a change in your life, to see a change in your sensitivity and performance.

But what about the guy who isn’t a porn user, and still suffers desensitization?

Lots of guys are suffering and can’t perform and it’s because of desensitization.

Sometimes this is due to health reasons.

Sometimes it’s due to how life affects us. Sex with the same woman can become dull unless you CHANGE how you have the sex. It can become so dull, and she can shut down on you, and then you end up having to jerk off and you become desensitized.

Or, you can simply go from woman to woman, and experience desensitization this way. Guys who date and have sex with various women can become desensitized this way as well. Women are used to watching porn stars have sex and they often use the “Battery Operated Boyfriend” and don’t feel nearly as much either.

It’s up to you to fix the cause of the problem. 

Remember, Nature doesn’t care. Nature just wants you to put your sperm in her. That’s why condoms work. Nature is easily fooled — you can spurt out your semen into a tiny plastic bag and Nature still thinks you’re impregnating a woman.

Nature doesn’t care if you have your sensitivity or not. Or if you perform or not.

Discover the hacks that make performance easy

We call them “hacks” because they are easy things that fool our brains into selecting a new built-in program different from the built-in program we’ve been running that has not been working for us.

We run built in programs all the time. The one we run unconsciously is all about wanting more, and not getting it, and with this constant wanting and not getting, we become desensitized and

It takes “super stimulus” to get us off

Sex is SO important to us and to our brains that it is more profound a problem than heroin or alcohol or gambling. 

Our brains no longer respond to “ordinary” stuff and it takes a lot to get us off. Eventually nothing gets us off.

It isn’t our fault. It’s how we’re built and the fact that nobody ever told us this stuff.

Well now someone is telling us this stuff. I’ve spent thousands of hours figuring it out and helping guys with it. It’s time to take this seriously.

No porn.

No fantasy.

No masturbation.

Avoid partner orgasm even — this can be vital for guys.

And I have some other ideas too. Go through the webinar if you haven’t already. Do the activities. Work at this. It’s so totally worth it and it works.  

So I have an idea here…tell me what you think of it

Since this all works so well, what do you think about a 10 day challenge? 10 days to leave it be. 10 days to avoid masturbation, porn, fantasy and orgasm. 10 days to enter “flatlining” and begin really recovering. I’m just throwing that out there — let me know what you think

warmly,

Quick Shortcut: Here’s what works to fix desensitization

This is the constant and frequent experience for guys who have desensitization and who fix the problem.

NO porn.

NO fantasy.

NO masturbation.

And for many guys, going further and into NO orgasms (even with a partner) are super important even for a few months.

What troubles me is guys who say

“Hey, Matt, I cut back on porn and still having a problem.”

WTF? Cutting back? What about stopping completely? Obviously you aren’t convinced that porn is a real problem for you. Well it is!

What also troubles me is guys who say, “Hey sure I rub one out. But I’m still desensitized, help!”

If you masturbate in the SAME WAY AS BEFORE, you will continue the same habits of fantasy and masturbation that have led you to this place of desensitization.

You have to make a change in your life, to see a change in your sensitivity and performance.

But what about the guy who isn’t a porn user, and still suffers desensitization?

Lots of guys are suffering and can’t perform and it’s because of desensitization.

Sometimes this is due to health reasons.

Sometimes it’s due to how life affects us. Sex with the same woman can become dull unless you CHANGE how you have the sex. It can become so dull, and she can shut down on you, and then you end up having to jerk off and you become desensitized.

Or, you can simply go from woman to woman, and experience desensitization this way. Guys who date and have sex with various women can become desensitized this way as well. Women are used to watching porn stars have sex and they often use the “Battery Operated Boyfriend” and don’t feel nearly as much either.

It’s up to you to fix the cause of the problem. 

Remember, Nature doesn’t care. Nature just wants you to put your sperm in her. That’s why condoms work. Nature is easily fooled — you can spurt out your semen into a tiny plastic bag and Nature still thinks you’re impregnating a woman.

Nature doesn’t care if you have your sensitivity or not. Or if you perform or not.

Discover the hacks that make performance easy

We call them “hacks” because they are easy things that fool our brains into selecting a new built-in program different from the built-in program we’ve been running that has not been working for us.

We run built in programs all the time. The one we run unconsciously is all about wanting more, and not getting it, and with this constant wanting and not getting, we become desensitized and

It takes “super stimulus” to get us off

Sex is SO important to us and to our brains that it is more profound a problem than heroin or alcohol or gambling. 

Our brains no longer respond to “ordinary” stuff and it takes a lot to get us off. Eventually nothing gets us off.

It isn’t our fault. It’s how we’re built and the fact that nobody ever told us this stuff.

Well now someone is telling us this stuff. I’ve spent thousands of hours figuring it out and helping guys with it. It’s time to take this seriously.

No porn.

No fantasy.

No masturbation.

Avoid partner orgasm even — this can be vital for guys.

And I have some other ideas too. Go through the webinar if you haven’t already. Do the activities. Work at this. It’s so totally worth it and it works.  

So I have an idea here…tell me what you think of it

Since this all works so well, what do you think about a 10 day challenge? 10 days to leave it be. 10 days to avoid masturbation, porn, fantasy and orgasm. 10 days to enter “flatlining” and begin really recovering. I’m just throwing that out there — let me know what you think

warmly,

Did masturbation cause my desensitization?

Wow! I remember discovering masturbation as a kid.

Ka-blooie!

What a shameful and pleasurable thing that was.

And then…fast forward to today…let’s get some perspective on masturbation and how it might affect our partner performance.

(And I hate using that word “performance” but there isn’t any other way to describe “how Dr. Willie works” so I’ll continue if you don’t mind…)

This article shows you some eye opening new facts to consider about masturbation and about how it may be contributing to desensitization…

Does masturbation cause problems getting hard, staying hard, or coming too fast/slow?

Hey, obviously, masturbation is actually a wonderful thing. It is amazing what it can do for us.

• Get to sleep
• Feel more relaxed
• Feel less lonely
• Feel really good!!

But overused or overdone, or done “wrong”, it has another side to it. Here’s how Al found this out.

Al had trouble with his erections. He goes to his doc. His doc does a blood test. “Testosterone is okay,” the doc says. The doc examines Al. “Everything seems okay.”

So the doc says to Al, “hey, you’re 30 now, and as you get older, things stop working as well. Plus you have a lot of stress in your life. A lot of this problem is from anxiety.”

The doc gives Al a prescription for a benzodiazapine Xanax that will “calm Al down”, and gives Al a scrip for Cialis.

And Al goes on his way.

Al doesn’t take the Xanax much, but he does take the Cialis pretty religiously. It seems to work okay, but after a year or two, not as well, and after 3 years, not at all.

Al wants a solution to his problem.

He doesn’t want to depend on pills or chemicals to have partner sex

 And he’s in his 30s, is it really all so down hill from here?

Al comes to me and says, “Matt, I can’t get hard, I am not able to have a good erection much anymore. My girlfriend has to constantly stimulate me to get anywhere, and then it’s all over so fast. What do I do? I’m only in my thirties, I can’t imagine why things aren’t working. And my doc says it’s performance anxiety but that doesn’t seem completely right.”

I ask, “Al, what about your masturbation habits?”

Al says, sure I masturbate. 

“Do you view porn?”

Well, not much. A little but not more than say once a month.

Okay, well you and everyone else, right Al?

Every guy views porn it seems, if only a little.

And really, life is full of porn triggers — non-porn that triggers sexual thoughts and fantasies and that in turn lead to sex hormones surging in the body…

Before I got into this work I do now, my male friends used to always be sending me photos through email of naked chicks and all this. (They don’t send them to me anymore and I’m grateful.)

I’ve talked about porn and you know a little more about that, but what about masturbation?

Everyone masturbates, right?

It’s totally cool to masturbate, but there are a lot of things that people don’t realize about masturbation.

You know what’s weird about masturbation? There are tribes in this world of men and women who don’t have a word for masturbation at all. As written recently about these African tribes:

The absence of masturbation among Aka and Ngandu men and women may be more surprising, and perhaps also harder to explain. Recall that the Hewletts did not find that masturbation is “frowned upon or punished,” but rather that there is just no general conception of it.

Masturbation isn’t as common or as universal as we think. It is practiced by some cultures a lot, and by other cultures not much.

I believe that masturbation has increased dramatically over the last 30 or 40 years. And it’s all due to the prevalence of sexual triggers.

Wake up, go to your phone. See 20 email and 10 Facebook updates, many triggering sexual thoughts. Cruise to Reddit or Craigslist and Youtube. Lots of sexual triggers there.

By the time you’ve downed a cup of coffee and headed for work, you’ve had 20 sexual thoughts and all this

Constant stimulus gets the sex hormones surging continuously throughout the day

And so these hormones surging create a tolerance by your body for them. Your body gets used to these constantly surging sex hormones.

And that brings desensitization on us.

Years ago, men didn’t have all that constant stimulus. They had to fantasize and jerk off to their thoughts not to high speed video.

And they strung their thoughts together by themselves, and interacted with other people without sexual triggers every second of the day.

It was such as different world because you went to a restaurant and people had to talk to each other. They didn’t have their phones to immerse themselves in. And they didn’t see sex, sex, sex everywhere, in every ad, every placemat, every radio and TV commercial, every banner ad…

They didn’t see the pictures in this article, either, LOL (the irony does not escape the Cookster.)

Masturbation is fine, but if you have desensitization, then it may be something you have to stop for awhile.

A bit of masturbation is no problem…but here is how it CAN be a problem… 

Masturbation to “in the brain” ordinary fantasy has rarely caused problems in the past. 

But today, it’s difficult for a man to masturbate to fantasy. The fantasy has to be about a porn scene or something erotic he saw in a movie, TV commercial, blog post, article, etc.

The fantasy is heavily enhanced by all the interactive gizmos we’re immersed in all day. And THAT is a potent recipe for sexual desensitization.

Because all those surging sex hormones all day every day cause desensitization, plain and simple. Toss in masturbation and you’ve got a lot of partner sex problems, erectile dysfunction, feeling little or nothing…

It seems that the more email, Facebook and high speed video we consume, the more we have those sex hormone surges throughout the day, the more we masturbate and the worse our partner sex experience is.

It’s no coincidence.

Masturbation with ejaculation results in loss of sexual energy at the best of times. But

The constant sexual triggers make it 100 times worse

I have guys in their 20s who have severe problems with getting hard. Basically they just can’t get it up for anything.

And what they have in common is, they started masturbating and using porn, and not just the porn of yesteryear, but the porn of today.

And, for the guys who are in their 40s or 50s or 60s, welcome to the world of constantly surging sex hormones resulting from all those triggers out there!

Desensitization, here we are!

Today’s interactive technologies and constant triggers results in changes to our brains that desensitize our brains to “normal” stimulus, say a real woman and a real pussy.

And those are real changes that are visible in brain scans. They aren’t “in your head.” They are real.

To overcome these brain changes, nothing works better than building up Oxytocin in your brain and in your dick

Oxytocin can restore the desensitization caused by sexual triggers, poor masturbation habits, too much masturbation, or a host of things including health problems.

If this resonates, leave a comment or question.

We will have a contest with one comment drawn at random and winning a free course valued at $197. The purpose of leaving a comment or question (completely private as far as who you are) is to help the 1000s of guys here at the Brotherhood. We all benefit!

warmly

Should you masturbate and fantasize about your girlfriend?

Gary asked me recently, “Matt, I keep a photo of my girlfriend in my wallet. Sometimes I think about her and fantasize. Sometimes I take out her photo and put it in front of me, like at the gym while I’m doing my spinning exercise. Is this bad? Will this set me back in my recovery into fantastic sex that I want?”

In this article I want to answer this question posed by Gary.

Gary’s doing pretty well. He’s made big inroads with his testosterone and the programs in my Testosterone Rewind course are helping him fix his diet, his supplement regimen and his lifestyle so his blood sugars are reaching a normal level.

All good.

But Gary still suffers desensitization.

1. He doesn’t feel that much in his penis.

2. He often has sex with his girlfriend and can’t reach orgasm.

3. He often doesn’t get hard. It’s a crapshoot whether he will or he won’t. And often when he does get hard, the erection suddenly disappears at the worst moment.

These are all symptoms of desensitization.

But in this article we’re talking recovery and how fantasy can stop you from recovering from desensitization. I have mentioned many times that

The reptile brain can’t tell the difference between reality and fantasy

If Gary is wired to fantasy, he will be making his desensitization worse by fantasizing.

Why does fantasy hurt us? And isn’t it perfectly normal to fantasize?

Desensitization is a real, physiological problem. So think of another real physiological problem — I can can eat potato chips or an orange and it’s no big deal. There is a good amount of sugar and starch in these — but for me, it wouldn’t trigger a blood sugar problem.

But if I have had type two diabetes, I should avoid these foods because they will hurt my blood sugars and cause problems.

If you take a guy without desensitization, yeah he can fantasize. But for a guy who is recovering from desensitization, fantasy will hurt his recovery.

That’s because for instance in Gary’s case

Fantasy has wired his brain to respond to fantasy more than to a real woman

The brain kind of works like this: Brain cells fire, a rewarding spurt of dopamine makes the cells go “wow this is GREAT” and then you have feedback loop set up that will tend to want to continue that behavior that resulted in the rewarding dopamine spurt.

Dopamine is part of the brain’s reward circuitry, and the dopamine is what feels good about buying a new car, fucking a beautiful woman, getting a new iPad, or eating another cookie. It’s what makes heroin and cocaine so short-term rewarding.

We need dopamine to get out of bed in the morning. I love my dopamine. It makes me want my woman all the time. I love that.

But when you have become desensitized, your nerve cells fire and you get that dopamine reward from something OTHER than real sex with a real woman.

And the more often these nerves fire, and the dopamine surges, the more the brain gets carried away from being sensitive to real sex with a real woman. It gets to prefer the rush from porn, or fantasy…

That’s why practically

99% of all men who suffer desensitization need to keep away from fantasy

They need to get the brain cells firing with rewarding dopamine that happens from real sex with real women.

Now, there is such a thing as “good fantasy” and here’s what it is. It’s thinking about your girlfriend or your wife and feeling really good. Really, really good.

I can close my eyes and think of my wife and feel really good. The way I do when I see her in person. 

I don’t fantasize a sex scene with her. I don’t fantasize a porn scene with her. It just feels really good, kind of dreamy. I feel really good.

And that’s how you can tell if a fantasy is bad or good. In general, any fantasy that makes you feel horny, or visualize a sex scene, should be avoided.

Just thinking of your woman and feeling really good — that’s good fantasy.

But for awhile, it may be difficult to have “good fantasy” so you may have to avoid all fantasy

That’s why guys in recovery shouldn’t be masturbating for awhile. The masturbation habits often involve fantasy and porn scenes. Whether the porn scenes are in a guy’s brain or on the computer screen, it’s all the same to the reptile brain.

The reptile brain doesn’t know the difference between fantasy and reality, remember?

Once you recover, you can masturbate generally. Unless it leads you back into porn (if you had a porn habit before.) But for awhile, you need to focus on recovering your sensitivity. And that means, avoiding all fantasy of every kind that leads you down the road to sex scenes and sex fantasies.

After you’ve fully recovered, then the fantasy is delicious and wonderful, so long as it’s the “good” kind, that makes you feel wonderful, and not the “bad” kind, that makes you feel horny

After a sex fantasy, you’ll feel horny for at least 30 minutes. That’s the time it takes for the spurt of sex hormones to subside in your system. So for that period, at least, you’ll be more prone to relapsing to masturbation and porn.

But if you have the “good” fantasy, which is not really a fantasy at all, but more a feeling, then you won’t get a horny feeling and you won’t be visualizing a sex scene. 

How to tell the difference between good and bad fantasy

Bad fantasy:

1. Involves visualizing sex scenes

2. Leads to you feeling horny

3. Leads to you wanting to rub one out

4. Leads you to feeling like you want something you don’t have

Good fantasy:

1. Involves thinking of the person you love

2. Feeling the love you have for her and feeling really good

3. You feel kind of sleepy and wonderful all over

In fact, it’s a great way to get to sleep, to think of her in that way. It makes you feel really great and sets up your sleep for good dreams and waking up really rested.

But be careful. Make sure you are ready for this before you try it. For the moment, until your dick is fully back into action and you have your full feeling and sensitivity back, maybe you should steer clear.

And if you are looking for that incredible gorgeous girlfriend, or wanting to get back into the game, register for our exclusive new  Factor X Girlfriend This Weekend web training. You’ll discover how to get a gorgeous girlfriend even if you lack sexual confidence…

warmly

And PLEASE leave a question or comment about your situation, or about what you have discovered. All the guys here in the Brotherhood (only 0.0001% ever comment) will benefit! And I appreciate it as it tells me I’m on the right track and keeps me going, to be honest. Thank you.